Fourth of April: Kitchener’s Wild 4/20 Rally … with 20 People!
Breaking news from Kitchener, where a revolutionary movement is in full swing! Behold, the annual 4/20 rally, a gathering of about 20 enthusiastic individuals fighting for their right to puff publicly without the looming judgment of the sober masses!
Meet Steve, who was spotted stylishly smoking a joint near Williams Coffee Pub, the chic new hangout for aspiring hipsters and confused tourists alike. When asked why he chooses smoking over drinking, he responded with all the depth of a kiddie pool: "It calms me down. I’m hyper, and sometimes I have a hard time eating. It helps me eat!"
Wow, groundbreaking insights! Harvard should definitely accept him into their psychology program!
Why, you might ask? Because Steve, a man of few words and fewer concerns, has a burning desire (pun totally intended) to smoke in public without the judgment of passing pedestrians. “I want to be able to smoke outside without people looking down on me,” he declared, as if he were asking for world peace instead of just lighting up in the great outdoors. And let’s not forget his very compassionate stance on children and cannabis: "We need to keep it out of their hands! It’s not safe." An absolute knight in shining armor, protecting humanity one joint at a time!
The “Epic” Turnout
In an unbelievable turn of events, this monumental rally had a jaw-dropping 20 attendees! Ladies and gentlemen, take a moment to appreciate the incredible crowd of slightly fewer than a class trip to the zoo. One enthusiastic young woman named Katie expressed her joy about being around almost three dozen folks, saying, "It’s different, just seeing everyone out at once. It’s fun!" Fun? You mean sitting in the rain watching a collective unite in their love for cannabis? Groundbreaking stuff!
But really, the pièce de résistance is Tony Miller from the Kitchener Cannabis Club, whose advocacy for alternative cannabis consumption is a cause we can all get behind—if we can just figure out what that means. He reminisced about the glory days when crowds swelled to a staggering 100 participants! Alas, the rain was a harsh mistress, keeping the masses and their profound conversations about everything “reefer” far away.
Legislation Shenanigans
Meanwhile, new legislation looms over the cannabis culture like a bad hair day. "There’s going to be a lot of cool things happening in the culture," Tony claimed with the excitement of a kid on Christmas morning, while simultaneously lamenting the impact on long-standing businesses. Ah yes, nothing says "progress" like legislation that’s both a blessing and a curse—bringing both raucous lounges and terrible heartbreak!
Overall, let’s give a round of applause for this monumental moment in Kitchener’s history, where 20 brave souls marched into the rain, ready to celebrate their right to peacefully smoke near city hall. Now that’s a rally for the ages—or at least for the couple of dozen people on Facebook.
In closing, if you ever find yourself lost, remember: at least you aren’t Steve contemplating life decisions by the local coffee pub, trying to figure out the mystery of eating while under the powerful influence of the herb.
Let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the absolute chaos of it all, and perhaps Google what "alternative cannabis consumption awareness" really means! 🍃✨
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , www.cbc.ca (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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