Get Ready to Celebrate 7/10: The Hilarious Highs and Lows of Oil Day!
Attention all dab enthusiasts, concentrate connoisseurs, and honey oil hobbyists: it’s that glorious time of year again! That’s right, folks—July 10th, or as we like to call it, 7/10 (because flipping “710” upside down looks remarkably like “oil”, so it’s basically a scientific breakthrough). Forget Christmas, this is the day you’ve been waiting for—a chance to treat your lungs to a succulent selection of cannabis concentrates while pretending you’re a sophisticated sommelier of shatter!
The Extracts: A Potpourri of Peculiar Potitions
Now, if you’re thinking of dabbling in these exotic extracts (and you really should), you have a smorgasbord of choices: hash, wax, honey oil, budder, and shatter—none of which I can pronounce after the first dab. It’s like a cooking show where the contestants only use ingredients found in a sci-fi novel. Experts say these concentrates have a “potent” effect, which is code for “you might need a snack to keep your existential crisis at bay.”
Bad News for Social Smokers
Ah, but this year, what was once a jubilant public fiesta has devolved into a solo affair, because apparently having fun in groups is yesterday’s trend. Now, celebrations are moving online! So instead of high-fiving your fellow dabbers, you’re left indulging in a virtual puff-puff-pass that requires three “can you hear me”s, two “uh-oh, I think my Wi-Fi is down,” and an awkward silence. But hey, at least you can wear pajamas!
Dare to Try Something New
Even if you’re tucked away like a hermit crab, don’t let that stop you from exploring! Now’s your chance to try that fancy new cartridge you’ve had your eye on—yes, the one you can barely afford and will likely regret in the morning. Pro tip: You might want to steer clear of death by shatter when you attempt a new dab rig that looks suspiciously like it was designed by NASA.
Dab Day Deals: Your Wallet’s Worst Nightmare
If you thought shopping for cannabis was confusing, wait until you see the themed deals! The ‘710 holiday list’ boasts discounts on every conceivable type of extract. It’s like Black Friday, but instead of mad dashers for a flat-screen TV, you have stoners rifling through jars of gooey goodness. Discounts as good as “yabba-dab-a-doo!”
And Now, Ice Cream?
Oh, and let’s not forget the hilariously misguided mashup—Weedmaps is bringing you a special ice cream flavor lineup to celebrate National Ice Cream Day while simultaneously commemorating oil day! That’s right, folks: “Peanut Budder Shatter” and “Pineapple Dab Express” are set to be served in selected dispensaries! Because who doesn’t want to feel like an over-caffeinated kid on a sugar high, while completely too stoned to comprehend what they’re eating?
The Criminal Mastermind of 710—King of Confusion
Just when you thought you’d heard it all, enter the notorious weed “criminal mastermind” of 7/10—a guy who tried to sell “exotic extracts” out of his mom’s basement. He’s been caught red-handed, not because he was too cunning—he thought wearing a tinfoil hat would make him invisible. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. His master plan? Sneaking bottles labeled “THC Elixir” disguised under “super-secret family ketchup recipe.” Really, dude?
So, on this glorious 7/10, whether you’re a casual dabber or a full-blown extract addict, raise your rig (responsibly) and toast to a day where the only crime is trying to figure out which flavor of ice cream pairs best with shatter. Cheers to the absurdity of oil day, may your dabs be fat, and your giggles be endless! 🌿✨
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , mgmagazine.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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